Rambling frustration

We still can't find a venue. Mainly because everything seems to come in a "package deal" and I still don't WANT the things in most of the packages. It's mid-February, we're trying to plan a September wedding, and so far we can't really plan ANYTHING because we don't have a venue.

I just want a field with parking. Seriously. And I can't FIND ONE. We considered this place on Ollie Weaver Rd....it's a big open field with an old farmhouse on it. We used to plant tobacco there when I was a kid and tobacco was still a profitable crop. The people who own it know my dad and would let us use it for free, but there's still the issue of parking. It's a big enough field to park all the cars...but if the ground is wet at all, the only people able to get in and out will be those with 4-wheel drive.

It's frustrating. I feel like my whole life is just stalled. Of course, that's not just due to wedding planning. It's also the fact that I haven't been onstage in months (been busy directing, but still, I need my fix) and I didn't make the last show I auditioned for. Scott did, and I'm really excited for him, but I still feel untalented. I know, that's just the way the business works, sometimes even talented actors aren't right for certain roles, but that doesn't stop me from feeling frustrated. Plus it won't stop snowing, plus I'm not making enough money but I don't want to quit my job because I actually like it, plus in the winter I'm just frustrated and unmotivated in general. Even at the best of times, I'm horrible at calling people and making plans to hang out, even though I LOVE my friends and am happier with lots of social interaction...I just have to be talked into going out. And in the winter, when all my MPP people are split up over various venues, I rarely make the effort. I'll probably be mopey and moody until we start up rehearsals for whichever Shakespeare show starts off our season. Damn, I should learn the season order, I'm on the board of directors. Oh well.

I can't wait for summer.