What We Have So Far

So, since I have the morning (possibly the whole day) off due to snow, I decided to write out what all we actually have semi-planned for the wedding, as well as ideas of what might be planned. I'm doing it on this blog because if I just make a list to myself, I'll forget about it. Feedback and helpful suggestions are welcome, as long as it doesn't involve the phrase, "You can't do that because it isn't done at weddings".

Venue: Hazel Robinson Amphitheatre. Rain or shine, at this point. We're just going to warn people to bring umbrellas.

Date: September 25th. This is still unofficial, which Scott keeps harping on me for because he needs to tell his mother something definitive...for some reason I just can't bring myself to say, "YES, THAT is the day we will get married." I think the problem is I just don't like to plan things this far in advance - not because I have doubts, but because I'm just impulsive enough to want to wait until, say, July to nail down a real date.

Time: I'm torn on this. I kind of want to have an 11 a.m. wedding so we have plenty of time to have fun before we have to clean up and make room for that night's show. At the same time, I'd rather get married at 1:00 so it's after lunch and we have the morning to set up. Will two hours make that much difference? Can we start at 1, have a fifteen minute ceremony, take fifteen minutes to setup the reception, and party from 1:30-5:00 before we have to pack up and leave? I would think three hours would be enough time for a reception, based on the weddings I've attended, but you never know.

Attire: I'm making my dress, as stated before. At this point, I'm leaning more and more towards having my bridesmaids' dresses made, too. I have three bridesmaids, and three seamstresses I know have volunteered to make the dresses as a wedding present as I choose. And one of those seamstresses is the mother of one of my bridesmaids, so...yeah. The men will just be asked to wear suits. It seems ridiculous to rent a tux for a wedding, especially a low-key wedding in an outdoor theatre. We're still shopping for a new suit for Scott, though - his old one has been through the wringer and he deserves a new one for our wedding day. And by "new", we are also looking at used suits in good shape.

Food: At this point, we're kind of on the fence. I originally was really set on making the food ourselves. I mean, not just me and Scott alone; we'd enlist the help of various friends and relatives who have all said they'd happily volunteer. This might still happen. However, we seem to be saving a ton of money on all our other choices. The more money we save, the better - I don't feel like we HAVE to splurge on anything if we don't want to. Still, we're considering catering as our splurge.

Alcohol: We're not serving alcohol at the wedding because neither of our families drink. However, we ARE considering opening it up for people to BYOB. This is one of the few things I'm actually concerned about people's reaction to - is it totally rude to tell people they have to bring their own alcohol to a wedding if they want to drink? Or would they prefer bringing their own to not having any alcohol at all? We might still end up nixing that - after all, my parents are chipping in, and they may be uncomfortable with having alcohol openly drunk at the reception. However, I'm saying here and now that anyone is welcome to bring a hip flask to drink in the corner. ;-)

Reception: This will probably get a post of its own later, but for now, here's what we're thinking. The tables will already be set up backstage. After the ceremony, they'll be brought out. There won't really be tables for people to sit at - they can get their food and bring it back to their audience seats, or they can eat as they stand (we're doing finger foods) and mingle around. The stage will be the "dance floor". Of course, we have a few relatives who just can't make it up and down the amphitheatre tiers, and that concerns me. I don't know whether to just leave them out in the audience and bring their food to them, or arrange a couple special tables for them onstage. Speaking of tables, that's one thing I know we'll probably have to rent - the tables and chairs. Unless I can talk Montford, the Arts Center, and probably one other place of business into loaning me a bunch of folding tables.

Not a Wedding Planner

Nothing is really happening with wedding planning at the moment. People keep asking when the date is, and we still don't know because we still don't have a venue. Besides, it's incredibly hard for me to plan something THIS far in advance; I'm a procrastinator, I always have been, it's just how I work. The thought of planning this huge important celebration that isn't going to be for another eight months or so just baffles me. I can't wrap my head around the fact that it isn't a wise idea to wait until August and go, "Oh yeah, a wedding. Okay, um...go buy some shrimp rings and get the tulle out of the basement, we'll throw some of that around and tie it up all pretty." Ugh, the thought of planning something for this long just makes me want to move the whole thing up to May like we'd originally talked about.

I'm also terrible at delegating. It's not that I'm afraid to ask people to do jobs...I just tend to think, "Oh, no big deal, I'll do that myself." and then I end up doing too much. Thankfully I have a wonderful matron of honor who is going to be wonderful at delegating FOR me - even more so because she just got married this past August, so she's done this recently.

The fact of the matter is, I really don't know HOW to have a wedding. And I pretty much refuse to use the "typical" wedding resources, because every time I actually take a chance and glance at them, I end up mildly disgusted. There are plenty of other great resources out there (thank you, A Practical Wedding), but I'm still having a hard time figuring things out. Eloping seems more and more like a great idea...but I'm an incredibly social person, and I really do WANT everyone I've ever met to be there. Not that we'll be able to afford that, but it's what I want.

At least some of the cost isn't a worry - my mother has mentioned that they'll help. I don't know how much, but knowing my parents, they'll end up footing the bill. Still, I don't want to put them in debt over a single day any more than I'd want to put myself in debt. The Boy's parents have generously offered to send us on our honeymoon...but the problem is, we want to take off on a road trip across the country, and we're not sure how to ask them to help finance that when their idea is to send us off to New York for a week.

Sigh. Planning. Does/has anyone else out there just really...NOT felt like planning their wedding, no matter how exciting the prospect of an actual marriage is? Because honestly, I do want the pretty white dress (and it WILL be pretty, if the mock-up made out of old dusty curtain lace and muslin is already pretty) and the cake (even though I don't even care for cake that much), but what I really want is to be married.

Top Ten Things I Plan* NOT To Do During Wedding Planning:

10. Buy a bridal magazine.
9. Go into a bridal store.
8. Spend too much money on silly prefab details.
7. Buy anything the WIC (Wedding Industrial Complex) tells me is vital to having a real wedding, unless it's something I LIKE (ie: I do want a pretty white dress).
6. Let my family change my mind about something just because it's not what they want (although I will listen to and respect their opinions).
5. Get freaked out over things that don't really matter.
4. Listen to anyone who tells me I can't do something myself, that I should just hire a professional.
3. Listen to anyone who tells me I'm not doing it the right way.
2. Forget that our goal is to have a fun, special day with our loved ones.
1. Forget that the whole reason a wedding is being planned at all is because I'm going to marry the man I love.**


*Notice that I use the word plan, not swear. There might be moments of weakness where I cave and do exactly these things. For example, I found myself in Wal-Mart yesterday ogling little bubble containers shaped like champagne glasses, and I'm pretty sure that falls under #8.
**This is an exception to the above note. I don't just plan not to do this, I PROMISE.