So, as I've mentioned before, I'm a huge fan of the site A Practical Wedding. I credit that site with getting me AWAY from mainstream wedding media and making me realize that we can do things our way, we can do things simply, and we don't have to spend a fortune to have a beautiful wedding.
But sometimes...I almost think I've gone too far with the practicality. I read about cool, homegrown, DIY weddings that are simple and beautiful without lots and lots of trappings, but our wedding? We really aren't having ANY trappings. This is mostly because I have a very, very hard time justifying anything that isn't necessary. It almost killed me to buy the beautiful expensive lace for my dress, and I wasn't even the one paying for it. I can't stand spending my own money, and I can't stand spending other people's. Even things that DON'T cost money, I can't see spending time on. Napkins cut from old fabric? That would cost us literally NOTHING considering all the fabric lying around my basement, but I just don't see the purpose in it. Pictures of the two of us strung up on clothesline between the trees? I love the idea, but how on Earth will I ever have time to do that the morning of the wedding, and who on earth is going to really notice it?
I'm not out to impress anyone (really, I'm not), but I would like to do SOMETHING to make our guests feel like we put some effort into throwing this shindig. I want them to be comfortable (let's see how comfortable they are in lawn chairs...), I want them to be fed (uh...Chik-Fil-A chicken nugget trays, anyone?), but...well, whenever I go to weddings, I don't marvel at the pretty decorations or the little details. All I can do is think about how many better ways that money could have been spent. And one of the best weddings I've ever been to was when my friends, Hope and Andy, got married at a state park. The groom wore shorts, the bride wore a purple dress, their son ran around barefoot, and ducks waddled in the background during the ceremony. The reception was held under a picnic shelter with "Brown-Eyed Girl" blaring from a boombox. It was a stark contrast to the huge white wedding I had attended only ONE day earlier; a friend of mine got married in a huge church, with a 5-piece string group playing the Gone With the Wind theme as she walked down the aisle. There was a ton of food, all the napkins were monogrammed, there were patterned lights on the dance floor, and if memory serves me, I'm pretty sure there was an ice sculpture. And while it was beautiful, I guess, and while the girl is a sweet woman, I felt SO much more welcome at the lakeside wedding. It was relaxed and carefree, and I really felt like I was witnessing something unique and special. I remember the details of that day...whereas I don't really remember much about the huge wedding from the day before. I'm not even sure I got to speak to the bride.
Anyway, the point is...I'm practical. I like practical, simple weddings. But I really would like to put some sort of effort into the day...I mean, right now the hardest thing is gonna be setting out food and lawn chairs. So, because I am so uber-uber-uber practical about things...I'd like to ask my handful of loyal readers a question. What sort of details do YOU actually appreciate seeing at a wedding? And, if you know Scott and I personally, what sort of details could you see us having that really fit our personalities? Is there anything in particular that makes you feel really welcome at weddings? I'm missing something, I just know I am, and I need some help figuring out what it is!
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I don't think you are missing a thing. Your wedding day is just that...a day about you and your hubby-to-be. It is not about doing something that will make the guests happy, or worrying about what they want to see. If there a detail or a flair that you want, then do it, but not because it is expected or desired by guests. This will be the beginning of your lives together and that is what the whole wedding is about and the whole reason people come, to celebrate the moment with you. Ten years down the road no one will remember what color the flowers were or if there were pictures on a clothes line, or how your hair was styled, or what your dress style was, or if there were favors. All they will remember is that they were at your wedding. The little details are for you and you alone - after all your hubby won't remember them 90% of the time!
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY agree - I think I'm more or less just asking for ideas on things I might be missing that I might hear about and go "Oh, hey! I WANT to do that!"
ReplyDeleteBy the way...I'm pretty sure I stressed Aunt Wilma out last Sunday when talking about the wedding plans. She's...kind of freaking out that we don't yet have a preacher. And that my dress isn't even started, and that Scott's suit came from Goodwill, and that I refuse to set up tents, and that we have no rain location, and that we aren't having a champagne toast, and and and...I did finally agree with her that we should rent chairs. Because that does make sense.